17 Weeks!

17 weeks pregnant. 22 weeks to go; And I think this pregnancy finally feels real? Like I'm actually acknowledging the fact that I am going to be holding a human life that I created in 5(ish) short months.

Things that have contributed to this sudden acknowledgment :

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After much conjecturing and endless discussion over what we thought we were having, and what we wanted to have, and how we would feel if we didn't get what we wanted - we have finally found out that we are having a boy.

I know that I've been continuously saying that I want a girl, and a boy would be fine, but really I would just like a girl, and someday I do hope I get that girl. But I also know that when I was laying on that uncomfortable doctor's chair and looking at the image on the tv screen of my baby hiccuping, and kicking, and sucking his thumb- that I didn't care whether it was a boy a girl. I just felt so lucky that it was mine. And then the ultrasound man said that baby was in fact a boy and everything felt just the way it was supposed to, and of course you're a boy, how could I have ever imagined you any other way?

(Here are these events in realtime, for your viewing pleasure.)

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We have officially decided on a name for the aforementioned cutest boy. We will be keeping it secret from the general public, until we see this baby in the flesh and can ensure this is indeed the right name for him. But we have a name, and it feels wonderful to associate him with such. 

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KICKING. Yes, it is faint and rare and usually takes me a minute to determine that it was indeed kicking I was feeling. But there a few specific instances when I've known for a FACT that I was feeling him moving around. And it was awesome. Can't wait for that to be a more frequent thing, and can't wait for Andrew to be able to feel it too. 

The other day Andrew was leaning on me a little and I felt the faintest kicks in his direction, as if the baby were trying to politely ask him to please stop squishing him. 

No idea how to raise a boy, but then again- I have no idea how to raise a child, period. But I this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing right now, and this little boy is exactly the baby I am supposed to be having. 

So let's do this thing.