this is totally cheating

because it's already past midnight and I was about to go to bed when I remembered I didn't blog yet today and I can't just give up on that goal so early in the month. that would be mildly depressing. 

So I guess the thing about Sundays is that sometimes I feel kind of lost in them. I'm in a place right now where I don't really have a place to be or a group of people to identify with and that makes church really difficult for me, if I'm being honest. Mix all this with me having a 4 month old that usually decides to eat the entirety of church and I guess you could say I'm just really not feeling the whole spiritual side of church right now. Don't get me wrong- I'm still going and I'm not apostasizing or anything. It's just difficult to force yourself to go when you don't know many people, the lessons are aimed at people way older than you, and even if a good lesson does come around I'm probably in the mothers room feeding my baby. 

So that's where I'm at. I know I'll find my way around eventually and figure out my place in all of this but for right now I'm taking matters into my own hands and reading and studying on my own time in an attempt to get some spirituality back into my life. 

Is that a bad thing that I feel this way? I don't really know. I don't think so though. I think what is important is that I continue to go to church, despite feeling neglected and out of touch, because I know it is the right thing to do. I believe that obedience is the key here and through obedience I will figure things out in time. 

So there is my rant because I needed a blog post today and that has been weighing on my mind. Have you ever felt this way before? How did you get over the hump and back into uplifting church meetings?