to my firstborn, while you are still an only child

My little one,

At some point in your life we will welcome a tiny new baby into our lives and you will become a big brother. It's hard for me to imagine you as someday being the older, bigger, braver brother in this house because right now you are so small and helpless. But someday you will become a big brother and someday you will be the head of this household whenever your father is away.  

It's impossible for me to imagine a world in which you are not the sole focus. It's so difficult to imagine another baby of mine who is so similar to you, but so so different too. To me you are everything in this world and it's hard to imagine sharing that space with someone else. 

It's also impossible for me to imagine a world in which you are not a big brother. The thought of only having one child has never even crossed my mind. Your sweet spirit and goofy personality is one that your siblings will grow to love and look up to. Growing up I wished all the time for a big brother, and now I think of my future daughter (we hope) and how lucky she will be to have you in her life. 

Little one, at some point in your life you will be sad and I will not come running like I do now. I will be in the middle of feeding another new baby or wiping someone else's tears and you might feel neglected or even jealous of these new little ones. But I promise that you have nothing to worry about. Before all these other little ones came it was just you and me and everything I did and worked for was just for you. That is something that we will never share with anyone else. Your siblings will never know a world without you, but I will. I will always remember the way you entered my life and forever changed it. You will always be my firstborn, my little one, the first tiny baby to capture my heart. 

love, mom